Prepared for Web-Site Sefer Beit Esther - Beersheva

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Sefer Mishnat Haim

Petal 5 - Sefer Ha-Mafli (The Book that Astounds) - Sefer Esther 3

Sefer Esther 3

Chapter 4 -

GNOMEN 151 - Jan. 27, 1999 - Shvat 10, 5759 - The Lion’s Den 1: I have had to enter the Tree of Knowledge of Good and of Evil Corrected, so as to break down some more shelves of false lights that emanate from the Yeor. Take off your dark sun-glasses and catch some glimpses of the wisdom of the True, New Kabbalah of Big Fish Leviathan, against the false pretences of Gilad Shadmon and the School of Ashlag. For I desire, with spoken wisdom of silence, to help you better understand how to look false lights straight in the face. Do not lose your bearing if I happen to swing from branch to branch, for between Donkey and Monkey there are 10 letters in English and even apes may get into the Signs if they serve some purpose in the FR.

GNOMEN 152 - When the verse says ‘And all will know Me, from the greatest to the smallest’ does this mean that at that time and from that time on, all people will stare at great spiritual lights all day long? No! People will eat and work and look at television and sleep as always. Young people will meet and fall in love as is natural. And young unmarried men searching for a wife will feel some frustration until his natural needs are satisfied. But all will have the fear and love of God in their heart. They will be honest with others and with themselves and for questions of doubts for which they fear to do something offensive before the Creator, they will seek the knowledge of God’s laws.

GNOMEN 153 - Be wise, then, dear friends, and try to understand the Donkey’s words, for I am not a writer nor a literary stylist but I speak in the permission of the holy Tzadik, Head of the 36 Hidden Tzadikim of this past generation. These are the true Tzadikim who walk in the true lights of the true higher spiritual worlds, but they are also general souls who take on the enormous responsibility and the enormous weights of the worlds in which they walk and which they know above in their ascent. The Hidden Tzadikim are not to be emulated because it is not possible to be as they are. It is for this reason, as well as for other reasons, that they have always remained hidden and unknown to all other Jews, including the most learned sages of the Torah. Their purpose is not that of being emulated whereas the Sages of the Torah were obligated to make pupils and to demonstrate their knowledge and their ways, so as to be emulated by their talmidim.

GNOMEN 154 - The term Tzadik (not only in its true, higher meaning of receiver of the Secret Tradition of the Hidden Tzadikim which is still unknown) but also in the sense of true Sages of the Torah who walk in the holiness of its laws, has been greatly falsified in the past 4 centuries or so, as a result of the false lights of the false Kabbalah. It was falsified by its usage on a horde of those who because of their being receivers of the ‘secrets of the higher worlds’ of the B.o.t.Zohar allowed themselves to be called Tzadikim and Kedoshim and, in the Hassidic world, even Adonim in their usage of Admorim. (The holy Tzadik, Haim, when he would hear this term ‘Admorim’ used, verbally tore out their foundations from under them and sent them out to be street-cleaners.)

GNOMEN 155 - The true Hidden Tzadikim never allow themselves to be called with any such titles and if someone did call them Tzadik or Kadosh etc., the true Tzadik denies and rebukes. They do not accept honor for themselves because all honor is to God alone and if they would accept honor from others, this would lessen the level on which they stand. I was witness many times to how the Tzadik Haim, Head of the 36 Hidden Tzadikim, refused titles or honor of any sort from other people.

GNOMEN 156 - I have explained in several places that I myself was not given to arise with them but, nevertheless, I was the talmid of the Tzadik Haim for 13 years while he was still in this world. I had been caught up in the traps before I was saved, washed and redeemed by the Tzadik Haim. I had to fall into all the errors of the falsified tradition of Habad. I had to believe it was my purpose to climb into the higher worlds of the higher spherot and to be taken up day and night in the Higher Light until the entire physical existence be annulled.

GNOMEN 157 - And now that the sin of Yeor has returned to its original state, I am reminded that previously, notwithstanding I was a full-fledged Habadi, I possessed a particular and independent love for the Sefer ha-Zohar, the ‘Etz Haim of R. Haim Vital and the ‘Kabbalah’ as I understood the term then. Mind you, this strong desire to study the Kabbalah directly from the sources, without the filters of Habad Hasidut, was not Habad usage or attitude. Although I couldn’t have defined it then, I was not totally satisfied with the Habad filter. I desired to ascend and to enter the light itself.

GNOMEN 158 - The Hated Fourth Generation of the idolatrous sin has little need for contemplating its origins. It has already inherited the sin of fathers, of sons and of its third generation. I was luckily not born into Habad nor would I have wanted to be. Those born Habad had no independent desires, one was a ‘yesh’ ( a ‘something’ that had not purified itself from personal thoughts) he was plagued with human traits. The Lubovitchers did not think about entering the higher spiritual worlds. The Serpent of Milan once explained to me that those Habadiim left of the previous generation were not truly part of the true purpose of Habad. The Present Habadiim, he said, knew that they should have no pretences of reaching higher spiritual levels. They are soldiers of the Rebbe and stop. The time is to make Habad known, u-faratzta, so that the Rebbe can be revealed. -

GNOMEN 159 - Did I get into the higher worlds? No, but I got into the lights and I combined them with Habad-Rebbe-Illumination. I obviously believed myself at times to be walking on higher levels because I remember that for reason of the higher spiritual contact I thought myself to maintain with the R., I used to imagine that, when the time would come, I myself would be chosen next Rebbe. How could my imagination have brought me to such conclusions if I had not inwardly believed myself to stand on a very high plateau of the spirit and soul. You can also see, however, that I never entertained all the Mashiah-Rebbe talk as did the other Habadiim.

GNOMEN 160 - I was never really caught up in the Mashiah campaign of Habad, also because that came out on an open level after I left but the true Habadiim all believed it as a first principle that he was the awaited Mashiah and this existed long before it was exposed publicly. I myself was not particularly interested in the Mashiah problem. I was interested in the system of the 4 worlds; the mashiah problem was too worldly and it upset the spiritual equilibrium of my meditation.

GNOMEN 161 - The Tzadik Haim had to reconstruct the world for me when I became his talmid. I had trained my mind to disdain the world, the things of the world, the events of the world, the history of the world. The ‘world’ ‘der velt’ no longer had any real meaning for me, I wanted lights, not physical existence. My first question to the Tzadik Haim, one of the first times we spoke together in the Synagogue of Via Cellini was if he was expert in the Zohar and in the ‘Etz Haim and in the other books of the Kabbalah. The person who to me was a Yemenite Kabbalist assured me with immense tranquillity that he was. Before he answered, however, he became somewhat serious and he looked to the right and to the left to make sure that no one would hear. Then he smiled while maintaining the same seriousness and said, “All of them” he assured me, “I know them all but the matter is hidden; it’s necessary to stay quiet”.

GNOMEN 162 - The Tzadik Haim had given me to understand that if I would hold to the conditions of silence, I could become his tato the ‘secret Kabbalah’. There was nothing in the world that I desired more than that. In the Habad Yeshiva in Brunoi, France, I had prayed many times in my last 2 years there that I be given the kindness from God to know a true teacher who would teach me the higher spiritual secrets of the Book of the Zohar and the Kabbalah. And now it was happening and the fact that the teacher was Yemenite thrilled me with delight. I had a feeling, conceived of I don’t know where, that the profundity of the mysteries of tradition was to be found with the Yemenite Jews.

GNOMEN 163 - I was from those very moments, when I felt myself on the threshold of a reality that I had prayed for and hoped for, ready to stand in the face of any contradictions that might come to interfere because of my being a Habadi. There would be no contradictions, I decided, there might only be Habadiim who wouldn’t understand. But I was used to thinking that others would not understand me from the time I was 13. Nor had I ever thought that the Habadiim were able to understand me, exception made for the Chief. In truth, deep down, I never really believed in Habadiim but I believed in the 7 Lubovitcher Rebbes and I believed that they were Tzadikim and great Kabbalists who ascended the higher spiritual worlds and all the rest, be-’avonot.

GNOMEN 164 - Nevertheless, when the Tzadik Haim found me, I had been imbibed with 5 full years of written Habad Hassidut. All virtues and good qualities had been directed into false channels. I had no knowledge of derech eretz. Habad did not teach it. Only the Chief was to be respected. The Hasidim to one another could be brazenly uncouth; it didn’t matter. I did not feel the derech eretz of the Torah until the Tzadik Haim said Avraham avinu, Yitzhak avinu, Yaacob avinu, Moshe Rabbeinu, ‘alav ha-shalom. The heart-felt respect, the lowering of the head, the closeness in love to the chosen of God brought them to life in me. When the Tzadik Haim said, Baruch Ha-Shem, which was very often, one felt the blessing from Heaven that descended.

GNOMEN 165 - When the Habadiim spoke of Avraham avinu etc. the words were quickly spit out without even a thought, whether in Yiddish or in Brooklynese; unless they were speaking in Hassidut and then the Patriarchs and all others were ‘behhinot’ spiritual categories; their historical reality was so totally secondary that it was non-existent. When I heard the Tzadik Haim speak of the Patriarchs, he made me feel by his expression and voice and feeling and derech eretz the true historical Abraham, the reality of his existence, and the privilege of being his descendants. He brought me back 4000 years to my history. It was so in everything that the Tzadik Haim spoke about or taught; his modes of expression, the changing tonalities of his voice, the intense and heart-felt feelings that he projected in the listener from his own and the many forms of derech eretz that were part of his speech, gave over a living reality whether of the past or present that cannot be described in writing.

GNOMEN 166 - I had noticed immediately that the speech of the Tzadik Haim was slow, intense on the words themselves and that it was this slowness that allowed me to feel the depth in meaning and the sanctity of the matter spoken of. This was a primary indication for me in discerning between the depth and intensity of true understanding and between the superficiality of the quick pace that I was used to hearing by the Habadiim, their Chief included. I am by nature extremely sensitive to such differences. I was, by way of this new parameter, soon able to discern that superficiality on their faces and in all their manners and speech habits and, most of all,